The Great Idea that wasn't

It seems this young couple from the States were on vacation in Oz, that is according to Truthful Magee who swore on his Granny’s ashes which he keeps in a jug behind the bar, and is therefore according to Hoyle: and, on the last week they decided to rent a car and trip around the Outback so they could tell the folks back home they’d been in Crocodile Dundee country, though that's about two thousand miles from where they were.
Anyway, they’re out there in the boonies, barrelling along somewhere north of Kalgoorlie and south of Meekatharra, which as anybody knows isn’t exactly a freeway at rush hour even on a busy day, when this dirty great big red roo steps across the road in front of them, calm as you please. How the hell they didn’t see a six foot marsupial sticking out in that nothingness boggles the mind, and Truthful didn’t say, but wham! they smack straight into the thing, knock it for a loop and come to screeching stop feeling shaken, but not nearly as shaken as the poor bloody roo.
Outside the air-conditioned comfort of the car - they were touring the Outback the hard way, you see - the heat hits them like a fist and the flies descend out of nowhere as if they were lumps of bad meat. But, being made of stern stuff having grown up in New York where survival tactics are learned in preschool, they took it well and decided to move the poor animal off the road. Not that it would have minded much, but they were public spirited and some other poor joker could have whacked into it in the dark and taken a mean tumble, not to mention bent his motor, though, mark you, any car without a couple of dings in that part of the world looks kind of out of place and probably belongs to some city bloke.

So they’re out of the motor, you see, lugging this dirty great roo off the road, and those things weigh a couple of pounds I can tell you, when the young bloke has a bright idea, the kind you always wish later had died still born. Now this may be where Truthful departs a wee bit from the straight and narrow, but these two decide to dress the animal up in some duds and take a couple of pictures to put in their album to show the folks back home. After all, there’s so many tall stories come out the Oz that people will believe almost anything, even civilized kangaroos.
So they get a Levi jacket and slip it over the roo’s arms. It's a bit of a snug fit but they manage, and then they reef the guy’s backpack on it and for a finishing touch stick a pair of sunshades on its nose. Very artistic really I should think, specially as they’d got it propped up against a fence post.
First, the girl stands by the thing, hand on hip and one on the roo’s shoulder, and gets her picture taken. It took a while as she had a fit of the giggles half way through and wasn’t at all sure about whether the thing had fleas. But that was one for the family archives, and they had to wait while a road train ripped past and the dust settled as it will eventually do even if there’s no wind.
And then the young fella steps forward, hands over the camera and strikes a pose. His lady takes aim, gets the two of them in the view finder and presses the button. She’s no expert, but the camera’s one of those idiot proof jobs so she gets the picture, and what a picture.

At that moment the roo wakes up - seems it wasn’t dead - shakes it’s head, takes one look at the scenario, decides there’s definitely something wrong with this picture, and with one damned great bound takes off in the general direction of Sydney. The snap the lady gets is one for the memory book ‘cos her fella has a look on his face that would beat all for sheer unqualified surprise. I mean to say, if you had your arm round a dead roo and it suddenly took off I reckon your mouth would drop open a bit too.
Truthful said the young fella gave a shout they could have heard a couple of miles away. His missus drops the camera as she needs two hands to cover her mouth, and they both swivel to watch in disbelief as the roo disappears over the horizon with no intention of ever having anything to do with cars or cameras ever again.
But there’s a problem, you see. The Levi jacket they can do without, and the sunshades were only a pair of cheapies, but it’s the backpack, still firmly across the animal’s shoulders that stirs up their anxiety.
Why? Well, according to Truthful it contained all any tourist holds most dear, especially when they’re in foreign parts and far from home: little things like passports, traveller’s cheques, air tickets and the like. Just paper, you say. Not worth worrying about, you say again. But have you ever tried to get out of, or into a country without them? And one thing was certain, the roo wasn’t about to snap its fingers, say "silly me" and turn round to give them back.
Of course, it all turned out right in the end, but they had a hell of time convincing the U.S. Consul in Perth that a roo had stolen their passports, and American Express weren’t all that sympathetic either, that is until they’d seen the photo, and somewhere out there in the GABA, the Great Australian Bugger All, is a roo wearing levis and cool sunshades.