Nothing I do or say is going to make a difference. He’s already made up his mind. If you look for the word ‘frustration’ in the OED you’ll see my ... no you won’t, because apart form being 5’ 7” with long blond hair and blue eyes, I have no idea what I look like because the bastard has never described me. Oh Christ! My face is a blank. If I look in the bathroom mirror will anyone look back? But that doesn’t make sense: I look in the mirror a dozen times a day. I mean, I must do, mustn’t I? But has he ever said I do? Has he ever said that I looked in a mirror? What would happen if I went back to page one and did it all again? Would I know any more?